This week I have been carefully watching a young leader in one of my chapters as a “situation” continues to grow. I am anxious to see at what point he steps up and does the very difficult but very needed move of saying STOP. Understand it is not a situation where laws are being broken or where injury could occur. It is more a situation where respect could be lost and image could be damaged. A disclaimer, as this situation moves forward I don’t think policies will be broken which is why I am not stepping in yet. I also think there are others closer to the situation that should before I do.
What we have though is a good example of the struggles a young leader may face. For the first 18 to 20 years of students’ lives they are raised and trained to be social animals for a lack of better terms. Parents, siblings, teachers and community try to teach them to fit in, be part of a team and in many cases not to rock the boat. I find that I do that myself with my kids which is to encourage them to go with the flow sometimes. We should not be surprised though that this translates into how our leaders act when they are handed the keys.
Many times a young leader will find that the majority of their group wants to go one direction, a direction that is not necessarily right. Right or wrong, the reality is that it is very hard to simply jump in front and say, “Sorry, we have to change direction.” I would venture to say that many have never been in such a situation before. As most people tend to learn by experience, the lack there of then makes it difficult to do the right thing. For this reason these young leaders simply go with the flow.
There is also the “friend” factor. Many times a student leader considers the group he/she leads as their closest friends. It is very difficult, especially when the friendship is institutionally established versus simply socially established, to tell these friends they are wrong. No one wants to be a part of a group where they are the least liked person. Obviously the real lesson here that hopefully they learn someday is that true friends will appreciate it when you intervene on behalf of their well being.
One might argue this is the time for a real leader to shine and I could agree with that somewhat. I challenge you though to look at the reality of this situation. Students coming to college today have grown up with a larger on demand support network than ever before. In many cases they expect somebody to run interference when needed on their behalf. If they are to lead the world one day they have to learn to be the one that runs interference. Remember though they need the experience with guidance first.
This is why campus professionals, organizational advisors, parents and older peers need to stay involved with these young leaders. Just because they are elected president or other high positions in their organizations doesn’t mean they have the skills that experience provides. Someone needs to guide them. If we don’t, in my opinion, it becomes questionable how much blame we can put on them when things go wrong.
Filed under: Uncategorized
